Dismantling the Barricades.

When Aaron and I first moved to New Mexico from Minnesota, we pulled up to our new home having no idea what to expect of the interior. I rented it from intuition alone, not able to see the inside due to massive renovations taking place, but trusting completely the woman who owned the home and knowing it was the right choice for us. When we finally crossed the threshold I knew it was perfect, with high ceilings, charming architectural details, sunlight-flooded rooms, and even a well-behaved ghost. There was, however, one factor that gave me horrible pause, which I found hanging in the window pictured above. It was on the outside of the house, so my hysteria never boiled, but still, gazing upon the most enormous spider I have ever seen, perfectly centered within an elaborate web spanning the entire frame, I nearly dispatched my own personal assassin (my husband) to rid my eyesight of her presence. Nearly. But then her message to me came loud and clear. This is the energy of New Mexico. Live with it comfortably- accept it- or perish. So, not liking the perish part, I let her be. She remained there in that window for two weeks before a storm came through and sent her packing. Until she was gone, I couldn’t go into that bathroom. Too horrifying. My landlady, Susan, (probably the kindest woman on the planet) knew about her web and hoped I would leave her in peace. She told me when she saw that we done just that, she knew “The Universe had sent her the perfect people to rent this home”. It’s become an enduring memory for both of us. A tiny test, of sorts. We’re great friends now, as I knew we would be.

A few weeks ago, Susan sent me an email talking about a book she had recently read on Native American mythology. One story involved the spider and how it came to be the symbolic protector of the creative energies. Spider keeps creativity thriving and those who work with the creative arts safe and inspired. Susan told me she believes the spider was there in that window to protect me, marking me as one of her own, announcing her intent to guide me creatively. She said she was there to assure me that I was on the right path, offering Divine validity for my creative gifts.

And to think I almost swept her off the house and sent her crawling.

I was struck by the symbolism of this. We so often allow our fears to keep us from the very things in life which empower us, not understanding that they're a source of tremendous life-giving energy. Imagine if we allowed them to move us, enrich us, and fortify us without chasing them away through our own insecurities, doubts and misconceptions. We have no limits and yet we create these self-imposed, invisible barricades which starve us of our own dreams and desires.

We focus on the spiders, instead of the eternal expanse beyond. Such a shame, yet we alone have the power to remove the barricades which block our way, simply by believing in our own success, our own capability, our own chance at happiness. “Limitations” is just a word, not something to believe in. And sometimes something as small as a spider can mean so much more.